Archive for February 2012

ELI MANNING IS GREAT!

The last time the New England Patriots played in the Super Bowl they had a perfect season and eternal greatness on the line.  I had a fairly decent sum of money and years of bragging rights on the line.  They lost obviously…as did I.

I had watched every game religiously that season (07-08).  I watched my team straight up demolish every team they played that year.  It was fucking awesome…however…I didn’t get to watch the Super Bowl.  Not a single down was seen by me, nor did I get to listen to it via radio.  To this day, the only thing I’ve had the opportunity to see from that game was the fucking miracle helmet catch by David Tyree and the game winning touchdown that ensued.  It still breaks my heart…not merely for the loss of the game, the perfect season, money, or even bragging rights….no…what hurts the most is the fact that it was once again Boston vs New York and NY prevailed…in epic fashion I might add…typical.

It wasn’t my choice to miss the most important game of the season that year, of course.  At the time I was sequestered while awaiting the premiere of Big Brother 9.  Essentially I was locked in a hotel room for three weeks, somewhere in LA, with no TV, no radio, and no communication with the outside world whatsoever.  All I had was room service, a small DVD player with assorted DVDs, and an iPod to keep me entertained…a luxurious prison if you will.  While my team was losing, I was secluded from everything to make sure I wouldn’t go nuts before I entered the Big Brother House.  It was sort of a test and preparation at the same time.

As for the game…I got updates by the BB staff every time there was a change in score.  So picture me, with a minute left, thinking we won the game.  I was dancing around my room like a maniac all alone in triumph.  Then came the knock on the door…it was my room service and news that Eli Manning had just won his first Super Bowl.  Needless to say, I didn’t have much of an appetite after that.  I was now stuck in heartbreak hotel.  Even though I didn’t get to see it with my own eyes, it still hurt like hell…but it wasn’t even as close to being as bad as…..

FAST FORWARD….4 years later…wow…has it really been four years?  Time fucking flies…

Again I’m in a prison…this time it’s a real prison.  Not a posh hotel room, living on room service and enjoying other comforts while I’m preparing myself for another time on television….nope.  Now I’m in Federal Prison.  BIG difference.  However, the heartbreak remains the same.  History has repeated itself in some sort of bizzaro world fucked up way.  This time I got to watch the game.  I watched my team, the New England Patriots, lose yet another Super Bowl, to yet again…the New York fucking Giants…Eli Manning….PFFFFF!  Sound that shit out.  That’s what I got to say about that….yeah…awful.

Now mind you, it’s ALL New York fans down here at good ol’ club fed in Ft Dix, NJ.  OK, maybe not ALL NY fans, but def like 80%…bad enough…and five of them just happen to live in my room.  Yeah awful, I know.  So obviously since I’m from Boston and that’s what Bostonians do….prior to the game and pretty much all season long I’ve talked shit to all of them… Yankees suck!  Eli stinks!  Giants stink!  Fuck NY!  Among others.  You name it, I’ve said it, and proudly…. all in good fun of course.  Boston vs NY is the greatest rivalry in all of professional sports, what did you expect?  I had to talk shit…it’s in my blood.

Well, during this shit talking and boasting of how great Boston is, I made a few bets….which is why I’m writing this blog entry in the first place.  Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few days…you now realize that I lost every bet I made….so that being said…I owe the following:

  1. 1000 pushups – to be completed in one day…piece of cake…
  2. One hound dog – which if you are clueless…I have to, in front of the entire weight room, at 6:30PM when it’s busiest, get down on all fours and howl out at the top of my lungs three times…then I have to say the Giants are great!
  3. I had to shave “NYG” into the sides of my head…awful.
  4. I have to grow out a fucking handlebar mustache for one month, I can only answer to the name Joe Flacco, and I have to take pictures with the person who won that bet and post them on here…awful.
  5. I have to also make 3 pizzas which read N,Y,G in pepperoni for us to consume…I’ve done worse…

And…if these are not bad enough… here goes… in CAPS LOCK AS I AGREED:

ELI MANNING IS GREAT!… HE BEAT THE GREAT TOM BRADY NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE…HE NOW OWNS HIM…GO GIANTS!!

I can’t believe I just had to write that shit.  If you are from where I’m from, that’s a fucking sin right there….to everyone from Boston.  I sincerely apologize for that…but I’m a man who pays his bets….

DAMN YOU ELI MANNING….you ruined my liiiiiiiiife!!

PS:  Pics with the shaved “NYG” and the handlebar mustache coming soon…. stay tuned…….

Posted 02/09/2012 by Matty McDonald in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

%d bloggers like this: